After finding God... found truth...

So in my search of the TRUTH finally found it… Infidelity is the ultimate truth these days. Although I keep on hearing stories( that too in close quarters) would want to believe that this won’t happen to me. But what I am writing is different and I am writing this because it exists and very much followed. As I am getting to know this world better and live on, I come across more and more people who have been into these situations without an ounce of guilt. Are we adopting it as a lifestyle or are we just looking at it as moments we want right here right now what the heck!
So what made me write about it is this roomie who told me that she had sex with her boss who has two kids who is married to a hot Russian. “I had not had sex in a while” that’s why she did it, no emotions nothing had no options and “please don’t judge me…it had been a long time so…” says she. While in this conversation we start talking about studies so the other roomie all excitedly blurts out how she “had a thing” with this married professor in the second year of her college. And “hey bhagwan” was I listening or was I judging or was I wanting to believe or was I just in a trance. And then it all came back to me each and every story how people had cheated. The Adulterer’s side of the story and the Victadultry (the new noun I invented for the partner of the person who is engaging into adultery: the “victim of the adultery”) like there was my own w(sh)itty example. Thank God I was a victim I am happier now! And then there was this interesting story wherein My two friends (guys) both had, I call that “the action affairs” the relationship which involves two people so that they can just DO eachother… Oh I always in my subconscious mind knew that there was a subliminal meaning to “ I DO” in wedding wows. So this one does a girl and then on the best friend’s birthday he does the best friend’s girlfriend in presence of his own girlfriend. Everybody cry, fight, alcohol shots, explanations the guyz get back their respective girlfriends after a lot of naatak. Lets not talk about it anymore! It totally got me thinking yet AGAIN. When did this evolution start happening, when did people start taking it as a “part of life or lifestyle”. How come one by one everyone is starting to become that practically casual. And for all those who think that they won’t do it or it won’t happen to them: “It is the nature of biology that both sexes are tempted to be adulterous.” Says a research . another research says “Dream superstition says that “adultery dream” means the opposite. You and your partner will be faithful to each other.” So While I am trying to find out the answers and relax my too cluttered brain hope everyone around get too many dreams of adultery.

When I was 5, I often assumed by the time I turn 24 people would evolve….will have no mouths…just telepathic talks and messages. Because I was too carried away what they showed in those sci-fi movies and I interpreted the whole world around that way. so by 2010 the world would end up into people losing their talking skills to telepathic messages. And it gave me immense pleasure (if only I knew then what was an orgasm) to think that I would not open my mouth to talk and do it with just using my brain and waves and stuff. I wish this was true…coz then I could still get in touch with the One That got away…from me n from us…
In your life, you’ll remember a lot of people. You’ll forget a few , But they’ll be there still in your subconscious. In your life here and there…snippets of them in the dreams, the conversation, the hazy memories, the moments. The Ones with whom you shared a thousand thoughts special, important, rubbish. ones who will always mean something. The one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you made late night conversations to, the one who was a close friend and then on a rainy day he kissed you and became your best friend, the ones who were there for you and the one who wasn’t...the one you’re with the one you wanted to be with. The one who never was…and the one that got away.
In my life there was this one who never was and then he got away. Sometimes you like someone so much its beyond…it’s like he is from your own womb…that’s what he made me feel like as if he is from my own womb an unexplained part of me. And sometimes you end up feeling so strongly for someone that you feel you wish that you were you and you were him too. So that you know exactly how it feels to be him. And how it feels when he is in pain. I still wish I had evolved as a human to have telepathic talks to him after he was gone because something got lost when heath ledger got away :p

FINDING GOD....

IT IS as exageratd as it sounds...no kidding...aftr a search of one million light years...finally got into a PG!!! it was …So crazily wandering without food n water…in search of a PG…it was like a confusing dream where everything goes wrong. So there I was, searching searching n searching. Checked out some of the shitiest places but now that I think of them they are gonna be there with me forever. One such palce was the newly weds’ room. So this chanda aunty gave me a reference and the wife of the guy (who was from MP n sold cosmetics) took me to see her place in cheera bazaar. And omg!!!! She took me upstairs in a chawl….upstairs there was a small room where a hunch back female was stiching…n there was again a very very small staircase in the same room the wife went upstairs and asked me to come up…I went upstairs and saw that the room was divided into two parts with the stairs…i.e when I went upstairs there was one side of the stair where there was a bed and roof was touchable. And then there was other side (right hand side) which had some suitcases cause they already had one girl staying there and I would have to share the space with her. And the couple’s bed had a curtain and you could not stand while on bed cause the roof was touchable while sitting on it. It totally freaked me out thinking that I’ll have a newly married couple just a curtain away from me…omg…I thought to myself…I would want to go to sleep peacefully and not with thousand kamasutra positions in my head!!!!

THE PURPOSE...

I would never know if it’s all part of a dream....
My dream or somebody else’s...
It freaks me out to think may be it’s my dream ...cz then I get performance anxiety.
But if it’s somebody else’s I feel good...cz then I am merely playing a Character...a role...
May be a lead role maybe a side role?
i would never know

But it amazes me how comfortable i might be to accept a side role...
Don’t we all want to play a significant role???

Frankly I don’t feel like...I don’t wana fake it...if I am here for a purpose it'll get fulfilled regardless of whatever. Because the plot is already there...the brain had already experienced a stimulus and the dream is just a manifestation...

so does that make me part of the REALITY...I would never know...

But if I am.... Then...
The purpose of my existence exists in the existence of the purpose...
So what’s the purpose then?
Is dream the purpose
Is reality the purpose?
Or finding the purpose is the purpose…
I might or might never know.